They journey here was nothings as I had imagined it would be. The goodbye's were almost unbearable and I missed home like crazy. The time I spent alone from Atlanta to Texas was enjoyable but I could not wait to find my new family that I will be spending 8 months with. All I wanted was to say hello so that maybe the pain of goodbye would be swept away.

I finally found some of my team in my layover in Dallas then we flew to McCallen where  we found even more of the beloved people I had been longing to see all day. But with every hello there was a painful goodbye ringing in my ear.

We piled into two vans and headed for the border. Meeting up at a gas station right out side of the border we found three other AIM vans. It was the most exciting part of my day so far. My whole Novas family was together and for a few moments that consumed my thoughts. Driving through the border was nothing to my liking. I was hoping for people to be jumping in the water, swimming for a new life (this sounds so terrible but I have to share my heart). For some reason I wanted this crazy chaos of confusion but it was nothing like that. We pulled up to this light where you have to sit as they decide if they want to give you the green light which is the go ahead or the red light which means "I do not trust you get out of your vehicle I want to search it" and there are these boys that look maybe 15 and they are holding guns, big guns too not a gun that shoots bubbles which would make me feel so much better but like I said in my title "no comfort zone". So we get the green light we pull through and off to the Gateway which is the name of AIM's base where we live. The Gateway is about 10 minutes if that from the border. So we get to frequent America a good bit ;). So we get here we say hello we unpack. The girls and guys have there own rooms (of course) and it is two huge rooms with bunk beds everywhere. I think each girl has 2 to 4 beds to her self that we use to sleep on, one has dirty clothes, the other clean clothes and the other bed for random items. It really is glorious, and we have hot water which I was not planning on for 8 months so that is a praise all in it's self. We have dinner, we visit and then we sleep for the day had been so long and we had no clue what tomorrow would be like.

 

But as I lay down to sleep that night of course the tears were still there, a lump was in my throat because I hadn't planned on missing my family and friends like I did. I knew I would miss them, I knew I would this part came as no shock. It was just how much I missed them that I couldn't believe. I think I thought that I would miss them but saying hello to everyone and everything new would override the pain of missing them, but it didn't and I wasn't quite sure what to do. Oh and if I only knew what awaited me in the morning.

 

We woke up at 8 and had breakfast and Tag (our leader) talked with us about some ground rule type things for the Gateway. I am always a little timid for what Tag may throw at us so the whole time he talks I am just waiting for the kicker. I mean the first time I met the man he made us sleep on the streets of Atlanta. This man is intense with no sense of a comfort zone and I love him for it.

 

But our first "assingment" was 4 days of complete and total solitude. We could talk to no one, we could not look, laugh, slap hands, say God bless you to anyone. We could say thank you to our leaders who would bring lunch and dinner to us; but that was it. For 4 days we were to speak only to the father, journal, read his word and read a book called "Exiles" that was laid on our beds for us when we got here.      My stomach sank, all I needed was to talk to people. I missed home so much I missed my mom, my family, my car, my friends everyone so much that all I wanted was the comfort of others around me to make this pain disappear and I was now told that I had 4 days to think about it. I am a thinker anyways so this was not exciting. Man I was so upset and not looking forward to this at all. But God has his hand over me the whole time. He taught me so much in our time together. He showed me how I always pray to him about my pain, my sorrows, my needs but then I turn quickly to the world and the people around me for immediate comfort of all those pains instead of resting in him and allowing him to heal me. I loved talking with him, everyday I would go and sit and talk to him. I held nothing back. On the first day of solitude I told him I was going to be completely honest with him. Holding no thoughts, no anger, no joy, nothing back. I wanted him to know exactly where I was and I wanted to know for myself exactly where I was so I could see the changes he has coming for me.

 

 I was so excited at the time I got to spend with the Lord. We actually only spent 3 days in solitude.  I had no major revelation, I feel like God  mostly listened but everyday the tears got less and less. He showed me that this 8 months that in my mind had turned into 8 years was not as long as it seemed and when I get home those family and friends that I still miss so much are going to be right there waiting for me and it is going to be a glorious day when I can embrace them again. But right now it is God and KC time I can not wait to see the way he opens my heart and begins to do a mighty work in me. Praise God for all he has done. Everyday sense then I can't wait to talk to the father. One morning I woke up and was missing home a lot but all I wanted was God, all I wanted was his comfort. I didn't want it from anywhere else but from him.

 

Praise God......

 

 

I'll try to update more later and keep posting so my blogs wont be so long.

 I love you all and God Bless.

 

FAITH

HOPE 

LOVE!!!!

                                             Love, KC